the crackers were probably bad luck anyway


what kind of name is janice


what kind of name is janice


i am the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life


I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like “sor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


i’m that dad who wants to start a garage band with all the other dads in the neighborhood but my wife wont let me


when people try to spread the whole “body image positive” thing but use sentences like “guys like a big booty” or “guys like curvy girls”?????wtf??? man????you just lost so many points like WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT GUYS LIKE?????? just please tell me who the fuck cares


like 95% of my daily vocabulary is ‘what’

if countries were students
Australia: The class clown who makes everyone laugh
America: The jock who loves themselves and everyone secretly hates
Canada: The nice person who offers to show you around on your first day
England: The hot boy everybody wants to bang because he's a gentlemen
New Zealand: Australia's little brother who is the only one who thinks Australia sucks
The Netherlands: That high kid in the back that everyone just ignores
France: The romantic playboy who hangs around England too much
China: The overly smart kid who puts his hand up for every question
Russia: The scary large kid that nobody talks to because they'll probably get stabbed


Pokemon Tumblr photoset


when one of your friends is sad just go to their house and do this